How I could end up on a typical charter tour,
with booze, sun, pool and women. And especially; what happened?
Standing in the dentist's waiting room, on my way in for
examination. The phone rings, it's Janus: Danny won't be joining me
on vacation tomorrow, will you? We can go to Marmaris the day after
tomorrow, it is probably located in Turkey. The dentist is standing
and tripping impatiently, and I know how much Janus is looking
forward to his holiday, so I just say: Order two tickets I'm on!
I've only been travelling 4 times this year, and now it's July!
15.07.1999. Up very early and with the first train to the
airport. A short flight of 3-4 hours brings us down to 33C. Passport
control goes smoothly, until I reach it. A lot of typing and
photocopying. I think it's embarrassing, Janus is about to burst out
laughing, but he's has passed through.
We travel by bus for an hour and a half. It goes through sun-swept
fields, and pine forests with uplifting cliffs. We see some storks
in fields and roofs, otherwise there are not the great nature
The hotel we arrive at, is a month and a half old, and really
lovely. Our 2 bedroom apartment has everything from sunken bath over
air-conditioning to a reasonably well-equipped kitchen.
We take a quick shower, and head down town. It
is the most intense tourist country, I have ever experienced. Here,
22,700 natives live and around 1-200,000 tourists. There are
restaurants, bars, souvenir shops, clothing stores and other
tourist-oriented shops everywhere. We walk around for a while, get
something to eat and then take a taxi home to the hotel: lira 1.300
= 25 kr. Relax, shower and change of clothes, then drive down to the
city to attend the information meeting. Taxes 2,500,000 lire.
Two totally amateur clowns try to give us
information. They stutter, mess around everything, say more uh ...
than anything else. There should be food afterwards, but we flee.
It's a good thing we got the whole hotel trip for less than the
flight cost. In any case, we are not going on some excursions with
We find a very delicious (and expensive)
restaurant and afterwards Bar Street. Here we meet Maria and Karina
- the world is too small! We get a little too much PowerBull and Red
Bull, so we get tired at five and take a taxi for 3,300,000 lira
home. We both fall asleep, drinking energy sodas.
16. Up at 12 o'clock, down to the pool. Janus looks like
something that shouldn't be alive; he is totally understated by the
hangover, despite the fact that we were not very serious last night.
He crawls back to bed, I'll stay by the pool for a couple of hours -
in the shadows.
Wakes up Janus and lures him down to the city.
We get a little McDonald to repair Janus with, and immediately he
looks better - like he actually might survive. In the bazaar, we
find clothing and a backgammon game. There is an incredible amount
of hustlers: Hello my friend, where are you from? I get Janus to
says "Russia" to avoid their Danish replies. Wrong guy he do it to:
He's starting to babble loose in Russian. I say: "Niet, ne
interasnie"! and then we head on giggling.
We get some sodas in the bars we pass, play
backgammon by the water, shop for dinner and breakfast and drive
Plays a few games of backgammon before we have to cook. Suddenly a
power failure exposes the food, but then we just get an hour shut
eye. Chicken thighs with mushroom sauce are consumed at half eleven.
Despite Janus' recent antipathy to alcoholic
drinks, we take a dolmus to Bar Street. Dolmusser is a minibus that
costs only 150,000 lire and runs almost constantly.
We walk around the bars, meet Maria and Karina, and only slightly
affected, we take a taxi home at four o'clock. Janus insists on
17. Get up to a healthy and varied breakfast with corn
flakes, freshly cooked eggs (cooked in the coffee pot), jam on toast
We float a bit by in the pool, play backgammon and then head down to
town. Almost by accident, we find the "back side" of the city. Small
narrow alleys line up between boulders and idyllic dilapidated
boulders. We find a small coffee shop, overlooking the entire
Somewhat worn, we take a dolmus home at dusk.
We find a cosy restaurant where they serve spaghetti, a big
air-filled bread and garlic-cucumber-curdled soup. With beverages,
we manage to consume around 70 kroner combined.
After a refreshment at the hotel, we head to Bar Street. While
sitting on sidewalk bars, we see many beautiful girls walking into
Back-Street. Of course we do too, and then we have found the PLACE!
A very large patio with massages of plants, streams and decorative
decor - and a lot of beautiful girls. We quickly find out that there
are only two flaws in the place: The prices at the bar, and hardly
anyone will believe the following: 3-400 people 75-80% very pretty
women between 18 and 25, and then they play reasonably good music!
We only make each other aware of girls who are over 17 on the 10th
scale. Not surprisingly, it will be late until we are home.
18. I wake up fresh at one o'clock. Janus again looks like
something that is a lie. I pour some water and food into him,
leaving him to Morpheus while surrendering my selves to Ra.
Janus shows up to the surface at six, now he looks almost like a
human. We go down to town, chug around, eat and head home at half
past one. Not surprisingly, Janus is not intoxicated. Sitting by the
pool and playing for an hour before we crawl to bed.
19. We spend the morning at the pool. At 4:30 pm we are
picked up by a bus, which takes us to Haman; Turkish bath. Janus had
said he would try, and Julle have said I would!
When the bar girl offered me it yesterday, I said: Yes, thank you.
We drive outside the city and are sent into a large building. Get
rid of the clothes in the changing room, put on the slippers and
look into a giant stone sauna. We are there alone, and I cannot help
but use the amazing acoustics (to Janus great annoyance). It's hot -
melting hot. Sweat drives of us in thigh-fat rays.
Other people come in, and then one of the
employees. Janus gets laid on a hot stone bench and scrubbed over
with a very scratchy sponge. Then it's my turn. Ouch, where it
Then it is out in the cold, where we get soap massage. Then follows
a shower and well wrapped in towels, we get a cold soda. The next
item is oil massage. Everything from toes to fingertips gets
massaged and cracked. That is it, so you can easily scrub off, when
you have just paid a larger fortune each.
We lure our bus driver to drive us to Hotel
Romance down by the water. Here we found a tattoo artist who had
some nice drawings. I get a henna "tattoo" on the right shoulder for
Janus can't find one that suits him, so we head off. Finally, there
is one that suits the gentleman, and then we are otherwise busy.
Taxi home, fast bath and change of clothes, taxi back to the
Assatyrk statue. We have to meet with a bunch of Danes for a bar
First there is dinner at an excellent
restaurant. We sit down with a couple of healthy girls and tell
We are divided into two teams; the sheep and the cows. Finds battle
cry, holds contests and not to forget; drink. Mexican Wave: Once the
sideman gets up and empties his glass, so do you. Janus sees his cut
to suck me down. The others sit with beer-chats, I always with a new
2-3 double vodka or Bailys / whiskey. People clap in beat, when I
gurgle a new drink down.
Janus looks a bit pale as he pays my bare bill
of 12,500,000 lira. The worst is probably that I don't seem
Singing, we dance to the first bar. Suddenly, the whistle sounds and
everyone throws down.
New drinks, new competitions: Clothes chains, whipped cream and what
can I remember? When it's done after five bars we drive home, mostly
because Janus is still embarrassingly sober. I can feel that not
only have I been drinking all Janus drinks, but he (and I) have
bought many more.
20. We get up at twelve, Janus almost as fresh as me. Down by
the pool, then down to town to shop for some clothes. Well heated,
we return to the refreshing pool. Down to the local restaurant, home
to the pool to play backgammon. Have written some on the phone to
Julle, Lennart and Lisa, so I'll take it to the pool. The bartender
sees it and immediately falls in love. Eventually he offers
500,000,000 lira (9,000 kroner), but does not receive it.
21. After our homemade breakfast, we head down to town to
shop for booze, smokes, clothes, PC games and whatever else suits
our tastes. Plenty of eating and drinking breaks. We are well laden
at home at sunset. In the evening we spend at the pool with
22. We are up early, we have to drive to the airport at 9am.
There have been power failures a few times, but this is the first
water failure. Janus is finally so desperate, so he washes himself
in a sip of drinking water from the fridge. It helps, and I get a
nice hot bath. The trip home goes according to plan and we arrive in
Roskilde just in time to go in the bar.
Price: 6,500 kr.